'Kids Count'

For instance, no matter how many times a judge, with good intentions, may advise a child that he/she is not responsible for the decision made by the court, the true psychological repercussions are unpredictable. While some children may feel responsible for their parents' divorce, others may believe that they are disappointing their parent(s) when they meet with the judge to express their feelings and preferences. It is not uncommon for children to harbor resentment against their parents for placing them in the uncomfortable position of having to speak to the court. This could, and often does, contaminate the parent-child relationship. One New Jersey court has taken steps to help children embroiled in this process through a program called 'Kids Count.'

All participants in a custody action (the parties, the attorneys and/or the judge) should always remember that children are quite impressionable. They often sense when their parents' marriage is deteriorating around them and typically feel caught in the middle. Some are frightened and withdrawn, while others are angry and destructive. There is no doubt that each individual child will respond to a custody dispute with varying reactions. Most parents, no matter how much they love their child(ren), truly do not realize the actual extent to which their child is affected.