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Despite the maxim that divorced parents should not criticize one another to their children, pitting child against parent is a tactic all too common between warring spouses who, in their anger, lose sight of their children's emotional welfare. Courts are becoming increasingly aware of the psychological harm this can inflict. Some courts have taken extreme measures against parents who actively foster their children's hatred for the other spouse.
Several judges in Connecticut have deprived mothers of custody due to their vitriolic comments about the father. A woman recently lost temporary custody of her sons because, according to Judge F. Herbert Gruendel, her “incessant and completely unjustified vilification” of the father placed their younger son “in a condition of intense psychological turmoil.”
The judge stressed that his purpose was neither to punish the boys, who had done nothing wrong, nor to punish the mother, who had. “The purpose is to require [the mother] to recognize the terrible effects her conduct has had on both of her sons and to involve her in a therapeutic setting which will help her to control her overt behavior,” Gruendel wrote.
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