Parent Alienation

We have all heard from our clients at one time or another that a child wants nothing to do with them because of the actions of the other parent or that parent's new spouse. Parent alienation, perhaps disavowed by many due to conflicted research, has been called by many names: programming/brainwashing, mind-control/poisoning children, coercive persuasion, mental kidnapping, character assassination, etc. The main idea that underlies this experience for children is that one or both parents repeatedly attempt to damage the image and/or reputation of the other parent so that a child will not want to be with, love or accept that parent in their lives. In serious cases, the child will become aggressive and hostile toward the target parent. The process and impact can take place over years. As an attorney confronted by this situation in a custody case, the first question is whether or not the alienation has occurred or if the client is just a problematic parent.

There are ways to establish the existence of the problem. Taking a careful social history will usually reveal patterns of “before and after” that document the processes, motives, and impact. Often, there had been a positive relationship between the target parent and the child. The following examples of problems presented may make the situation clear (and familiar).