Creating Better Mentors

The success of any law firm is dependent on the quality of its lawyers. So, developing the next generation is always of monumental importance. But not all partners are skilled in effective mentoring. The following article describes the basics of what makes a good mentor, and in turn, a good program.

Begin with the Basics

In order for a mentor to have success, he or she first needs to believe in, and commit to, the program. Mentors must consider the relationship with the associate as significant. They must be willing to participate in an ongoing working relationship with their assigned associate. This means being available for regular contact and present for periodic meetings. Enthusiasm is contagious. If the partner is invested in the program, that enthusiasm will come through both verbally and non-verbally. Should the partner feel ambivalent about taking the role of mentor, he or she might think back to their own experience as an associate. Consider who served as their mentor and what was helpful. If that type of relationship was absent, what kind of person does the partner wish he had to help guide him through his early career?

The second task of the mentor is to define the relationship and the roles that the partner and the associate play. The nature of the relationship is that of counselor and counselee. The most beneficial dynamic is when the associate is active in the process of his or her development and the mentor is there as a mirror or sounding board rather than a director. This dynamic should be established at the outset of the relationship. The partner needs to clearly communicate that it is the associate's responsibility to come prepared with goals, actions, progress, obstacles, etc. while the mentor can be relied upon to be present and provide honest feedback. If the mentor has dual roles with the associate (e.g., both mentor and on the evaluation committee), those roles need to be clarified from the onset. There also needs to be a discussion about the parameters for contact. A regular meeting schedule should take into account what is realistically doable for both people involved. Ambiguity leads to anxiety, so the more clear the expectations are at the beginning the better.

Let the Associate Take Ownership

In order for the associate to truly take ownership of his or her own development, the mentor must allow for autonomy. It is very easy to give directives and offer solutions, especially since the mentor has more knowledge and experience. However, being patient while letting associates process and solve their own problems leads to their empowerment. It is perfectly appropriate to offer suggestions and/or discuss ideas; however, the mentor should make sure that the associate is actively participating and initiating conversations.

Be Consistent

A good mentor is consistent and predictable. His or her mentee should be able to count on him to show up for scheduled meetings. There should be no surprises in terms of the way the mentor communicates whether it is via phone, e-mail or in person. A rapport of safety is established when the mentor adheres to stated roles and is routinely present to provide support and guidance.

Communication

Mentors also need to develop a particular style of communication. They should primarily ask open-ended questions and should spend a substantial amount of time listening to their associate. Listening involves attending to both the content of the words, and the overall feeling or gestalt of what the person is saying. They should try to avoid rehearsing what to say next and simply focus on what the associate is saying. It is important to verbally acknowledge when the associate has done well or met a goal. Additionally, they should be honest about weaknesses. Sugar-coating criticism or being vague about areas for improvement erodes trust in the relationship because the associate knows that he is not getting the genuine story.

Conflict Management

While some relationships are smooth and harmonious, many involve conflict or tension at one time or another. A mentor should be able to manage conflict as well as tolerate the anxiety that often comes along with it. No matter how intense things may get, a mentor should always maintain professionalism. It is never okay to insult, humiliate or gossip about a colleague. If a mentor notices that he or she is getting really upset, they should suggest closing the meeting immediately and come back to the matter when they have calmed down.

Conflict management is a skill that every good mentor should possess. When the mentor is the third party to the conflict there a number of things to do to help the involved parties resolve the issue. Most conflict is the result of miscommunication, so allow each person to tell his or her story and point out where the signals got crossed. Have each party consider all perspectives, not just their own. Make sure that the situation is taken into account rather than jumping to the conclusion that the problem is a direct result of another's flawed personality. Ask person A what person B is trying to communicate, and vice versa. If someone is not getting the correct message, continue until everyone is clear on what the other is trying to convey. Mentors should empower their associate to come up with their own solution rather than jumping in to “fix it” right away. As much as possible, all parties should work as a team trying to solve the problem.

Conclusion

To some people these skills come naturally, others need more practice. Some relationships gel easily, and others take more effort to build. With some serious attention to the techniques stated above, most partners can significantly improve their ability to be a meaningful force in the lives of their mentees and make an important contribution to the future of the firm.

Melissa Udell, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and also a consultant with Kohn Communications. The firm, which specializes in the consulting technique known as Executive Coaching, has been consulting with law firms since 1983. Web site address: http://www.kohncommunications.com/.