A Client's Cultural Background Makes a Difference

In some cultures, families gather together to make decisions, reaching out beyond the nuclear family into an extended family, often giving primacy to the views of the most senior members. Where that is the case, the “individual” client standing before you is truly unable to commit to a decision, not because of a lack of understanding, intellect or indecisiveness, but because “that's just not the way decisions are made in her or his culture.” When it comes to child-raising decisions, some cultures abdicate all responsibility to a mother; others, less commonly, to the father; and in some, the church plays an extremely important role even in what most cultures believe to be decisions made solely within a nuclear family. If one is accustomed to seeing a mother battle for “her” way of making childcare decisions, then it may be hard to deal with mothers who seem to abdicate that responsibility totally to a despised, soon-to-be ex-husband. Do not be blind to the influence of a culture that leaves all childcare decisions to fathers.

These scenarios frequently (but certainly not always) play out among clients from within the African-American community who turn to immediate family (even extended family) members, friends, and their church leaders for support, and, in this context, for advice. Thus, do not be shocked when clients from such traditions appear at your office with a settlement proposal prepared or heavily influenced by a church leader or by family members.

Clients from other cultural traditions will be quite “private” in dealing with a matrimonial problem, whereas others from a different background will ask that a religious leader or family member participate in an office conference. It is important to be sensitive to such requests, and while the need to preserve the confidentiality of attorney-client communications may be paramount, it is necessary to be careful when explaining why such requests are difficult to satisfy.

Be aware of differences among various cultures when it comes to role flexibility in child-rearing. Under some traditions, the mother may function as head of the family and thus be the sole caregiver of her children; in others, it may be a grandparent, and in still others, older children have responsibility for younger siblings. Appreciating these varying approaches can be very important when trying to work out custody and parenting issues. Even if you are successful in convincing a particular client to share child-raising responsibilities, if his or her tradition does not rely on such equal participation, you may not be able to achieve that agreement if your client's spouse is not prepared to accept such a departure from cultural tradition.

None of us should live our lives believing that our experiences are “true,” and that those of others are not. For example, in some cultural communities, a belief in “folk medicine,” i.e., relying on a spiritual healer rather than a doctor for an illness, may be common. Your client may have taken his or her child to see such a spiritual healer. Modern scientific medicine does not have “all” of the answers, and spiritual healing is not without some support. Nonetheless, with skepticism abounding, attorneys must be prepared to explain to a judge the importance of this tradition to their client.

Other Examples

Hispanic Culture

Individuals who reside in the United States and who were born in, or trace the background of their families to, one of the Spanish-speaking Latin American nations are sometimes defined as “Hispanics.”

For many Hispanic clients, but certainly not all, family relationships are paramount in their lives. This manifests itself in such clients generally turning to their family members for advice when confronting a tough emotional situation ' and divorce certainly qualifies as such. While this may resemble a similar tradition to the African-American community, there is often (but again, far from always) the following dissimilarity: In the classical Hispanic community, the father is always the head of the family. The mother takes care of the children following the father's rules. For custody and parenting solutions, the implications may be enormous. One should not be surprised that a mother may be very passive, refusing to fight for what you, her attorney, believe to be her rights. Be sensitive and watch for this because such a client may have been raised to obey her father or a similar male figure. On the other hand, do not be surprised if a Hispanic father is (or appears to be) overly aggressive in pursing his divorce or custody rights. Even when such a father accepts an agreement for joint legal custody, he may still believe he is the one and only decision-maker. An attorney who does not spot this cultural tradition cannot anticipate the unique problems that may arise, and may not be able to fashion a workable solution effectively.

Moreover, as is also common in much of the African-American culture, some Hispanics hold very strong religious beliefs and always will seek advice from a religious leader or even a spiritual healer. Of course, when this is the case, it can have a profound impact on the divorce process.

Most readers have a moderate awareness of whatever are thought to be the “typical” “American,” “Hispanic” or “African-American” cultures (and others besides), notwithstanding that much of what we think we know is inaccurate. How much more difficult is it to understand, appreciate, and respect less familiar cultures and those from such backgrounds?

Indian Culture

India is a country of many different cultures and with many languages, religions, and traditions. Even the diverse cultures within Indian society may have some common characteristics that should be considered when representing a client from such a background. Traditionally, the head of an Indian household is the male. A woman is raised to obey her father, then her husband, and then her son. This male-centered culture affects the divorce and custody process and it behooves us to understand this.

In the Indian cultures, many marriages are arranged by the couple's families; thus, a bride and groom may not even have met beforehand. Traditionally, a bride will bring a dowry to the groom's family. This is the price paid for the marriage. One implication, not seen in our own country's dominant cultures, is that upon divorce of an Indian couple, the dowry is returned. Attorneys can expect a great deal of focus and fighting over exactly what was given and to whom. Hour upon hour can be spent on these issues alone, something never seen when representing anyone in your “typical” client base.

Approach with Sensitivity

One should also appreciate that cultural nuances shape the way people provide and receive information. For instance, many Hispanic individuals are “contextual communicators,” that is, specific information is best exchanged in context rather than in bits and pieces. Thus, the interviewer may ask and expect an answer to a question based on his own mindset, yet receive a response that appears to skirt the issue or include a great deal of what might be judged as extraneous and/or irrelevant detail. An attorney would be well-warned not to form a conclusion or act accordingly based on impatience (i.e., ignorance) with this form of communication, an attitude that might be readily communicated to the client with potentially disastrous results.

Using Tests

Psychologists have long been concerned with the bias inherent in psychological testing that is not based on culturally accurate norms. Test makers have historically warned of the perils of administering psychological tests like the MMPI-2, for example, to those individuals not properly included in the standardization samples used to validate the instrument(s). The mere translation of the test into another language does not guarantee either reliability or validity, and such administrations and interpretations should always be viewed with caution. Decades of research have been devoted to constructing “culture-free” tests (e.g., the Rorschach) but again, research and professional discourse suggest caution in both utilizing and interpreting such tests in a forensic context, especially a context (e.g., custody and parenting evaluations) for which the tests are not intended and research is lacking.

Conclusion

Basically, we live in a diverse society and its members have different world views of how things work depending on where they come from, by way of nationality, religion, economic strata, and otherwise. This is not a matter of better or worse ' just “different.” If you are not consciously aware of these factors, you cannot even begin to understand a particular client's needs and wishes. To be able to help your client go through a divorce with or without a custody battle, you must be sensitive to the client's cultural norms. Those norms are what will influence the path your client will choose to take. Even to communicate effectively with a client, you, as the attorney, need to offer advice that will be acceptable in your client's culture.

The attorney should be aware not only of his/her client's cultural differences but also of the attorney's own situation. Not only should attorneys be mindful of the cultural differences that can affect the impression of their clients, but they should also be mindful of the cultural inclinations, biases, tendencies and habits they themselves possess, and how these variables can affect their effectiveness as a professional. Someone with a cultural background that fosters a greater sense of empathy and who has an empathic style might be much better able to foster trust in a client than someone without such a background. That same individual, however, might suffer from the formation of unrealistic expectations in the client as a result. Consequently, similar and especially obvious similarities in cultural backgrounds between attorney and client should be recognized, at least by the attorney and ideally by the client as well, as helpful, but it does not necessarily guarantee that the attorney will automatically understand what that client's views and feelings are.

Up to this point, this article has emphasized the need for each attorney to be sensitive to her or his own client's culture. Given that the article is addressing the family law practitioner, it would be remiss not to point out that most clients come to us because of a breakdown in their relationship with a spouse, domestic partner or person of like relationship. That other person also has a cultural background. Ideally, the client and spouse had come to understand where each has “come from” and work together to meld their separate cultures. Commonly, however, when couples are breaking up, each party will retreat to his or her cultural norm. Often, this manifests itself by way of disagreements as to their child's religious observance; the language spoken by their child; and other matters, both important and unimportant.

What is the bottom line here? Attorneys can much better serve their clients by setting aside cultural biases and being constantly alert to the ways in which individuals from diverse groups express their cultural values, their views of the world, and their views of their place in this society. Such awareness will lead attorneys, as advisers, to understand how decisions are made and to appreciate where each client will turn for advice and support.

It is helpful to consult online resources and other aids when working with a client's particular cultural traditions. These resources are especially helpful when dealing with clients in cross-cultural families. In addition, the use of a mental health professional may be helpful to assist your client in adapting his/her own individual cultural norm to the norm of the spouse when it comes to raising a child.

Karen Meislik is a principal at the Montclair, NJ, firm of Meislik & Meislik. She is certified by the New Jersey Supreme Court as a Matrimonial Attorney and maintains a website at www.meislikfamilylaw.com. Dr. Mathias Hagovsky, PhD, is a forensic psychologist with over 30 years' experience in working with attorneys and the New Jersey Courts. He is a partner in a psychology practice in Livingston, NJ.

Typically, each family law attorney's client base is dominated by individuals of a small number of cultural backgrounds. One consequence of having a relatively homogeneous client base is that the attorney, without even giving thought to this, approaches all clients as if they were from those same cultures. Even when recognizing that a particular client comes from a diverse cultural background, the attorney interacts with that client and his or her situation as if that client was like the attorney's “typical” client. Unwittingly, this can lead to a biased handling of that particular client's matter. This kind of “bias,” though devoid of any negative judgments, interferes with the attorney-client personal dynamic and, more critically, can lead to “solutions” that are less satisfactory than those that could have been achieved if the client's own cultural background had been better understood.

To reach an optimal solution to a particular client's set of problems, his or her attorney has to be able to “step into the client's shoes; see through the client's eyes; and hear through the client's ears.” Otherwise, the “solution” can be a generic one, and sometimes that is not good enough. An attorney who “walks through a problem” from a cultural perspective of his or her own, rather than that of the client, is likely to fail to solve the problem for that client. The bottom line is that one must understand a client's particular culture because people with different cultural experiences may deal with things in very different ways.

Different Approaches

In some cultures, families gather together to make decisions, reaching out beyond the nuclear family into an extended family, often giving primacy to the views of the most senior members. Where that is the case, the “individual” client standing before you is truly unable to commit to a decision, not because of a lack of understanding, intellect or indecisiveness, but because “that's just not the way decisions are made in her or his culture.” When it comes to child-raising decisions, some cultures abdicate all responsibility to a mother; others, less commonly, to the father; and in some, the church plays an extremely important role even in what most cultures believe to be decisions made solely within a nuclear family. If one is accustomed to seeing a mother battle for “her” way of making childcare decisions, then it may be hard to deal with mothers who seem to abdicate that responsibility totally to a despised, soon-to-be ex-husband. Do not be blind to the influence of a culture that leaves all childcare decisions to fathers.

These scenarios frequently (but certainly not always) play out among clients from within the African-American community who turn to immediate family (even extended family) members, friends, and their church leaders for support, and, in this context, for advice. Thus, do not be shocked when clients from such traditions appear at your office with a settlement proposal prepared or heavily influenced by a church leader or by family members.

Clients from other cultural traditions will be quite “private” in dealing with a matrimonial problem, whereas others from a different background will ask that a religious leader or family member participate in an office conference. It is important to be sensitive to such requests, and while the need to preserve the confidentiality of attorney-client communications may be paramount, it is necessary to be careful when explaining why such requests are difficult to satisfy.

Be aware of differences among various cultures when it comes to role flexibility in child-rearing. Under some traditions, the mother may function as head of the family and thus be the sole caregiver of her children; in others, it may be a grandparent, and in still others, older children have responsibility for younger siblings. Appreciating these varying approaches can be very important when trying to work out custody and parenting issues. Even if you are successful in convincing a particular client to share child-raising responsibilities, if his or her tradition does not rely on such equal participation, you may not be able to achieve that agreement if your client's spouse is not prepared to accept such a departure from cultural tradition.

None of us should live our lives believing that our experiences are “true,” and that those of others are not. For example, in some cultural communities, a belief in “folk medicine,” i.e., relying on a spiritual healer rather than a doctor for an illness, may be common. Your client may have taken his or her child to see such a spiritual healer. Modern scientific medicine does not have “all” of the answers, and spiritual healing is not without some support. Nonetheless, with skepticism abounding, attorneys must be prepared to explain to a judge the importance of this tradition to their client.

Other Examples

Hispanic Culture

Individuals who reside in the United States and who were born in, or trace the background of their families to, one of the Spanish-speaking Latin American nations are sometimes defined as “Hispanics.”

For many Hispanic clients, but certainly not all, family relationships are paramount in their lives. This manifests itself in such clients generally turning to their family members for advice when confronting a tough emotional situation ' and divorce certainly qualifies as such. While this may resemble a similar tradition to the African-American community, there is often (but again, far from always) the following dissimilarity: In the classical Hispanic community, the father is always the head of the family. The mother takes care of the children following the father's rules. For custody and parenting solutions, the implications may be enormous. One should not be surprised that a mother may be very passive, refusing to fight for what you, her attorney, believe to be her rights. Be sensitive and watch for this because such a client may have been raised to obey her father or a similar male figure. On the other hand, do not be surprised if a Hispanic father is (or appears to be) overly aggressive in pursing his divorce or custody rights. Even when such a father accepts an agreement for joint legal custody, he may still believe he is the one and only decision-maker. An attorney who does not spot this cultural tradition cannot anticipate the unique problems that may arise, and may not be able to fashion a workable solution effectively.

Moreover, as is also common in much of the African-American culture, some Hispanics hold very strong religious beliefs and always will seek advice from a religious leader or even a spiritual healer. Of course, when this is the case, it can have a profound impact on the divorce process.

Most readers have a moderate awareness of whatever are thought to be the “typical” “American,” “Hispanic” or “African-American” cultures (and others besides), notwithstanding that much of what we think we know is inaccurate. How much more difficult is it to understand, appreciate, and respect less familiar cultures and those from such backgrounds?

Indian Culture

India is a country of many different cultures and with many languages, religions, and traditions. Even the diverse cultures within Indian society may have some common characteristics that should be considered when representing a client from such a background. Traditionally, the head of an Indian household is the male. A woman is raised to obey her father, then her husband, and then her son. This male-centered culture affects the divorce and custody process and it behooves us to understand this.

In the Indian cultures, many marriages are arranged by the couple's families; thus, a bride and groom may not even have met beforehand. Traditionally, a bride will bring a dowry to the groom's family. This is the price paid for the marriage. One implication, not seen in our own country's dominant cultures, is that upon divorce of an Indian couple, the dowry is returned. Attorneys can expect a great deal of focus and fighting over exactly what was given and to whom. Hour upon hour can be spent on these issues alone, something never seen when representing anyone in your “typical” client base.

Approach with Sensitivity

One should also appreciate that cultural nuances shape the way people provide and receive information. For instance, many Hispanic individuals are “contextual communicators,” that is, specific information is best exchanged in context rather than in bits and pieces. Thus, the interviewer may ask and expect an answer to a question based on his own mindset, yet receive a response that appears to skirt the issue or include a great deal of what might be judged as extraneous and/or irrelevant detail. An attorney would be well-warned not to form a conclusion or act accordingly based on impatience (i.e., ignorance) with this form of communication, an attitude that might be readily communicated to the client with potentially disastrous results.

Using Tests

Psychologists have long been concerned with the bias inherent in psychological testing that is not based on culturally accurate norms. Test makers have historically warned of the perils of administering psychological tests like the MMPI-2, for example, to those individuals not properly included in the standardization samples used to validate the instrument(s). The mere translation of the test into another language does not guarantee either reliability or validity, and such administrations and interpretations should always be viewed with caution. Decades of research have been devoted to constructing “culture-free” tests (e.g., the Rorschach) but again, research and professional discourse suggest caution in both utilizing and interpreting such tests in a forensic context, especially a context (e.g., custody and parenting evaluations) for which the tests are not intended and research is lacking.

Conclusion

Basically, we live in a diverse society and its members have different world views of how things work depending on where they come from, by way of nationality, religion, economic strata, and otherwise. This is not a matter of better or worse ' just “different.” If you are not consciously aware of these factors, you cannot even begin to understand a particular client's needs and wishes. To be able to help your client go through a divorce with or without a custody battle, you must be sensitive to the client's cultural norms. Those norms are what will influence the path your client will choose to take. Even to communicate effectively with a client, you, as the attorney, need to offer advice that will be acceptable in your client's culture.

The attorney should be aware not only of his/her client's cultural differences but also of the attorney's own situation. Not only should attorneys be mindful of the cultural differences that can affect the impression of their clients, but they should also be mindful of the cultural inclinations, biases, tendencies and habits they themselves possess, and how these variables can affect their effectiveness as a professional. Someone with a cultural background that fosters a greater sense of empathy and who has an empathic style might be much better able to foster trust in a client than someone without such a background. That same individual, however, might suffer from the formation of unrealistic expectations in the client as a result. Consequently, similar and especially obvious similarities in cultural backgrounds between attorney and client should be recognized, at least by the attorney and ideally by the client as well, as helpful, but it does not necessarily guarantee that the attorney will automatically understand what that client's views and feelings are.

Up to this point, this article has emphasized the need for each attorney to be sensitive to her or his own client's culture. Given that the article is addressing the family law practitioner, it would be remiss not to point out that most clients come to us because of a breakdown in their relationship with a spouse, domestic partner or person of like relationship. That other person also has a cultural background. Ideally, the client and spouse had come to understand where each has “come from” and work together to meld their separate cultures. Commonly, however, when couples are breaking up, each party will retreat to his or her cultural norm. Often, this manifests itself by way of disagreements as to their child's religious observance; the language spoken by their child; and other matters, both important and unimportant.

What is the bottom line here? Attorneys can much better serve their clients by setting aside cultural biases and being constantly alert to the ways in which individuals from diverse groups express their cultural values, their views of the world, and their views of their place in this society. Such awareness will lead attorneys, as advisers, to understand how decisions are made and to appreciate where each client will turn for advice and support.

It is helpful to consult online resources and other aids when working with a client's particular cultural traditions. These resources are especially helpful when dealing with clients in cross-cultural families. In addition, the use of a mental health professional may be helpful to assist your client in adapting his/her own individual cultural norm to the norm of the spouse when it comes to raising a child.

Karen Meislik is a principal at the Montclair, NJ, firm of Meislik & Meislik. She is certified by the New Jersey Supreme Court as a Matrimonial Attorney and maintains a website at www.meislikfamilylaw.com. Dr. Mathias Hagovsky, PhD, is a forensic psychologist with over 30 years' experience in working with attorneys and the New Jersey Courts. He is a partner in a psychology practice in Livingston, NJ.