Parental Disciplinary Techniques

Parental use of disciplinary techniques is an important area for child custody assessment. Few evaluators, however, conduct the kind of in-depth examinations that shed light on the parents' use of disciplinary techniques and those techniques' effects on their children. We believe that in a contested custody case, it is important for evaluators to examine systematically how parents use disciplinary techniques, and equally important for attorneys to hold evaluators responsible for investigating these techniques by thoroughly examining all the information presented in their reports.

In this article, “discipline” is defined as all parental behaviors intended to prevent a child from misbehaving or to correct a child's misbehavior (K.G. Van Leeuwen, A. Fauchier, M.A. Straus (2012). Assessing dimensions of parental discipline. J Psychopathology and Behavior Assessment, 34, 216 ' 231).

One of parents' primary responsibilities is to socialize children. Among the areas examined by child custody evaluators are the many ways parents help their children acquire the inter-personal, social, emotional, and cognitive skills necessary to become productive members of our society. Systematic examination of parental use of discipline tends to be overlooked by custody evaluators. A careful evaluation of how parents discipline their children is likely to reveal information critical for a best interest determination and its omission should be rigorously cross-examined.

Importance of Understanding and Assessing Different Discipline Techniques

Although considered vague and undefined, the concept of the best interests of the child is a complex notion (L.M. Drozd, N.W. Olsen, & M.A. Saini (2013). Parenting Plan and Child Custody Evaluations: Using Decision Trees to Increase Evaluator Competence and Avoid Preventable Errors. Sarasota, FL: Professional Resource Press). Among the relevant factors that forensic mental health professionals must evaluate is the parents' abilities to guide their children toward healthy growth and development.

Discipline relates to a child's pro-social behavior and development of a child's empathy. Assertions about parents' use of physical force in disciplining their children are commonly found in custody disputes. Most child custody literature addressing the assessment of parental discipline style and the techniques employed focuses on parental use of corporal punishment and its effects on children. Little attention has been given to the variety of parental disciplinary techniques employed in child socialization beyond the use of corporal punishment.

Evaluators who assess parental use of discipline should be guided by an integrative model of discipline that includes, but is not be limited to, consideration of the contributions of the parent, child, and context. The evaluation should assess each parent's attitude toward discipline, each parent's emotional state when discipline is employed, each parent's reasoning when discipline is employed (discipline tactics), and each parent's mode of administering their chosen discipline.

Attorneys should ask the evaluator probing questions written to distinguish the contributions of each parent to the child's development. What is the purpose of the parent's choice of disciplinary technique? What does the parent think about the reasons for the child's behavior? What is the parent's belief about the child's motivation to misbehave? Is each parent aware of his/her own emotional triggers that may contribute to decisions to discipline the child? Is each parent aware of how each child triggers the parent? How does each parent handle frustration about the child's behaviors? What is each parent's attitude towards discipline? Is the parent seeking to correct the child's misbehavior or prevent the child from misbehaving? What type of discipline does each parent use? Does the parent use physical force to discipline the child? If yes, what form of physical discipline is used and why? Does the parent intend to cause the child to experience pain or correct or control the child's behavior? Does the parent, in fact, cause pain to the child?

Contribution of the Child

Consideration should also be given to the contribution of the child. Important child characteristics should include, but not be limited to, the child's temperament, severity or kind of the child's behavior, frequency of the child's behavior, the child's understanding of rules in the home/school, the child's perception of parents' punishment, the child's perception of fairness of distribution of punishment within the family (school class), and behavioral outcome of the child.

Attorneys need to ask the evaluator questions that will reveal the level of information gathered about the child. This information should be derived from interviews with the child, each parent, siblings, and collateral informants. What specific questions did the evaluator use to interview the child? How were the child's responses recorded (notes, audio- or video-tape)? How many times did the evaluator meet with the child? If more than once, did the evaluator examine the consistency of the child's information across interviews? Where did the evaluator see the child? (Did they meet at the evaluator's office? Did they also meet at home?) During the child interview, where was each parent? What does the child understand about right or wrong behaviors? Is the child aware of the effects of his/her behavior on others? Is the child able to express his or her feelings? Does the child feel comfortable talking with each parent? Can the child explain the concept of fairness in his/her family setting? In anticipation of the child interview, did the evaluator ask the child how, if at all, the child was prepared for the interview? If the child was interviewed at least a second time, did the evaluator ask the child whether, if at all, the child was interrogated by either parent about the content of the interview? If yes, what did the child recall of that experience?

Contribution of the Context

A third dimension to consider is the contribution of the context that may include the emotional environment of the home or the relationship between child and parent at the time of the transgression or at the time of discipline, the social support available to the parent and/or the child, and an analysis of other emotional triggers that may affect the child's behavior or affect the parent's response to the child's behavior. Examination of these issues could reveal child maltreatment, neglect, psychological control, child rejection and acceptance and child involvement.

A distinction has been made between reactive (or corrective) discipline and proactive (or preventive) discipline. Reactive/corrective parental discipline reflects a parent's actions in response to the child's transgression. Proactive/preventive parental discipline reflects a parent's actions to encourage pro-social behavior.

Questions should focus on how the parent acts toward the child, whether and how the parent comforts the child, how the parent responds to the child's misbehaviors. Does the parent deliberately ignore the child's wrongdoings or note, explain and teach? Does the parent keep track of the child's misbehaviors (corrective) and/or does s/he keep track of the child's activities outside the home (more preventative step)? What kinds of penalties or actions does the parent impose upon the child as consequences of misbehavior? Does the parent enforce or reward good behaviors? Does the parent model good behavior?

Another distinction is between inductive discipline and power assertive discipline. Inductive discipline is characterized by a parent teaching the child to feel responsible for his/her actions. Focus is on teaching the child to think about right versus wrong and the effects of his/her behavior on others. Parents are encouraged to set appropriate limits on the child's behavior, spend time explaining the transgression and its meaning, and inviting the child to contribute his/her ideas about the reasons for the transgression and possible reasonable punishments.

Attorneys should ask whether the parent talks with the children about acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Does the parent try to bring out ideas from the child? Does the parent set limits for the child's behavior? Does the child understand what the parent is teaching?

Power-assertive discipline is characterized by physical punishment, threats, belittling, and telling the child what to do with little, if any, justification. Part of the evaluation should include questions for the parents, child and appropriate collateral that reveal: Do the parents yell? When the child misbehaves, does the parent blame? Deprive affection? Induce guilt?

When an evaluator interviews parents during a child custody assessment, the evaluator should investigate what alternative disciplinary techniques the parent employs. The evaluator should also inquire as to when a parent utilizes a specific disciplinary technique and why the parent chose a particular technique over an alternative technique in a particular situation.

Evaluators should be held responsible for investigating parental use of discipline to produce information that can help the court distinguish between effective and counterproductive disciplinary behaviors. Attorneys need to probe the underpinnings of custody reports, asking evaluators what information they gathered about the parents' use of physical force to discipline: Who did the evaluator interview? Did she interview collaterals? Did she ask the collateral for specific examples of observed parent-child interactions that included observation of parental use of discipline? Did the description of the observed parent-child interaction regarding parental use of discipline include how the child reacted? Did the evaluator question the parent about information gathered from the collateral? How did the parent respond to deeper probing by the evaluator, both as to the questions asked of the parent and to any challenges raised by information gathered from the collaterals?

Impact of Discipline on a Child's Future Problems

Research findings consistently reveal the association of certain types of parental disciplinary behaviors with short- and long-term problems for the child. Parents' use of inductive disciplinary techniques as compared to power assertion techniques (including the use of corporal punishment) leads to more pro-social behavior and empathy among children ages 11 and 12. Mothers' use of a comforting way of discipline as compared with use of a power-assertive mode results in higher quality mother-child interactions for toddlers. Finally, the use of corporal punishment on children older than two and a half years has been associated with higher levels of oppositional behavior.

Conclusion

Given the frequency of complaints found in custody pleadings about the use of parental physical force, it seems reasonable to expect child custody evaluators to understand how to identify and assess dimensions of parental discipline beyond that of corporal punishment. To construct examination questions of child custody evaluators, family attorneys must be knowledgeable about the different types of parental disciplinary techniques. Probing challenges to the way parents discipline their children may uncover unexpected and critical information that could turn the custody decision in favor of your client.

Jonathan W. Gould, Ph.D, a member of this newsletter's Board of Editors, specializes in Family Law matters including, but not limited to, child custody evaluations, work-product reviews, trial support and consultation. Nicki B. Fisher is a practicing attorney and the owner of Fisher Law Group, Charlotte, NC. Over the past 30 years, she has specialized in juvenile and family law. She may be reached at [email protected].

Parental use of disciplinary techniques is an important area for child custody assessment. Few evaluators, however, conduct the kind of in-depth examinations that shed light on the parents' use of disciplinary techniques and those techniques' effects on their children. We believe that in a contested custody case, it is important for evaluators to examine systematically how parents use disciplinary techniques, and equally important for attorneys to hold evaluators responsible for investigating these techniques by thoroughly examining all the information presented in their reports.

In this article, “discipline” is defined as all parental behaviors intended to prevent a child from misbehaving or to correct a child's misbehavior (K.G. Van Leeuwen, A. Fauchier, M.A. Straus (2012). Assessing dimensions of parental discipline. J Psychopathology and Behavior Assessment, 34, 216 ' 231).

One of parents' primary responsibilities is to socialize children. Among the areas examined by child custody evaluators are the many ways parents help their children acquire the inter-personal, social, emotional, and cognitive skills necessary to become productive members of our society. Systematic examination of parental use of discipline tends to be overlooked by custody evaluators. A careful evaluation of how parents discipline their children is likely to reveal information critical for a best interest determination and its omission should be rigorously cross-examined.

Importance of Understanding and Assessing Different Discipline Techniques

Although considered vague and undefined, the concept of the best interests of the child is a complex notion (L.M. Drozd, N.W. Olsen, & M.A. Saini (2013). Parenting Plan and Child Custody Evaluations: Using Decision Trees to Increase Evaluator Competence and Avoid Preventable Errors. Sarasota, FL: Professional Resource Press). Among the relevant factors that forensic mental health professionals must evaluate is the parents' abilities to guide their children toward healthy growth and development.

Discipline relates to a child's pro-social behavior and development of a child's empathy. Assertions about parents' use of physical force in disciplining their children are commonly found in custody disputes. Most child custody literature addressing the assessment of parental discipline style and the techniques employed focuses on parental use of corporal punishment and its effects on children. Little attention has been given to the variety of parental disciplinary techniques employed in child socialization beyond the use of corporal punishment.

Evaluators who assess parental use of discipline should be guided by an integrative model of discipline that includes, but is not be limited to, consideration of the contributions of the parent, child, and context. The evaluation should assess each parent's attitude toward discipline, each parent's emotional state when discipline is employed, each parent's reasoning when discipline is employed (discipline tactics), and each parent's mode of administering their chosen discipline.

Attorneys should ask the evaluator probing questions written to distinguish the contributions of each parent to the child's development. What is the purpose of the parent's choice of disciplinary technique? What does the parent think about the reasons for the child's behavior? What is the parent's belief about the child's motivation to misbehave? Is each parent aware of his/her own emotional triggers that may contribute to decisions to discipline the child? Is each parent aware of how each child triggers the parent? How does each parent handle frustration about the child's behaviors? What is each parent's attitude towards discipline? Is the parent seeking to correct the child's misbehavior or prevent the child from misbehaving? What type of discipline does each parent use? Does the parent use physical force to discipline the child? If yes, what form of physical discipline is used and why? Does the parent intend to cause the child to experience pain or correct or control the child's behavior? Does the parent, in fact, cause pain to the child?

Contribution of the Child

Consideration should also be given to the contribution of the child. Important child characteristics should include, but not be limited to, the child's temperament, severity or kind of the child's behavior, frequency of the child's behavior, the child's understanding of rules in the home/school, the child's perception of parents' punishment, the child's perception of fairness of distribution of punishment within the family (school class), and behavioral outcome of the child.

Attorneys need to ask the evaluator questions that will reveal the level of information gathered about the child. This information should be derived from interviews with the child, each parent, siblings, and collateral informants. What specific questions did the evaluator use to interview the child? How were the child's responses recorded (notes, audio- or video-tape)? How many times did the evaluator meet with the child? If more than once, did the evaluator examine the consistency of the child's information across interviews? Where did the evaluator see the child? (Did they meet at the evaluator's office? Did they also meet at home?) During the child interview, where was each parent? What does the child understand about right or wrong behaviors? Is the child aware of the effects of his/her behavior on others? Is the child able to express his or her feelings? Does the child feel comfortable talking with each parent? Can the child explain the concept of fairness in his/her family setting? In anticipation of the child interview, did the evaluator ask the child how, if at all, the child was prepared for the interview? If the child was interviewed at least a second time, did the evaluator ask the child whether, if at all, the child was interrogated by either parent about the content of the interview? If yes, what did the child recall of that experience?

Contribution of the Context

A third dimension to consider is the contribution of the context that may include the emotional environment of the home or the relationship between child and parent at the time of the transgression or at the time of discipline, the social support available to the parent and/or the child, and an analysis of other emotional triggers that may affect the child's behavior or affect the parent's response to the child's behavior. Examination of these issues could reveal child maltreatment, neglect, psychological control, child rejection and acceptance and child involvement.

A distinction has been made between reactive (or corrective) discipline and proactive (or preventive) discipline. Reactive/corrective parental discipline reflects a parent's actions in response to the child's transgression. Proactive/preventive parental discipline reflects a parent's actions to encourage pro-social behavior.

Questions should focus on how the parent acts toward the child, whether and how the parent comforts the child, how the parent responds to the child's misbehaviors. Does the parent deliberately ignore the child's wrongdoings or note, explain and teach? Does the parent keep track of the child's misbehaviors (corrective) and/or does s/he keep track of the child's activities outside the home (more preventative step)? What kinds of penalties or actions does the parent impose upon the child as consequences of misbehavior? Does the parent enforce or reward good behaviors? Does the parent model good behavior?

Another distinction is between inductive discipline and power assertive discipline. Inductive discipline is characterized by a parent teaching the child to feel responsible for his/her actions. Focus is on teaching the child to think about right versus wrong and the effects of his/her behavior on others. Parents are encouraged to set appropriate limits on the child's behavior, spend time explaining the transgression and its meaning, and inviting the child to contribute his/her ideas about the reasons for the transgression and possible reasonable punishments.

Attorneys should ask whether the parent talks with the children about acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Does the parent try to bring out ideas from the child? Does the parent set limits for the child's behavior? Does the child understand what the parent is teaching?

Power-assertive discipline is characterized by physical punishment, threats, belittling, and telling the child what to do with little, if any, justification. Part of the evaluation should include questions for the parents, child and appropriate collateral that reveal: Do the parents yell? When the child misbehaves, does the parent blame? Deprive affection? Induce guilt?

When an evaluator interviews parents during a child custody assessment, the evaluator should investigate what alternative disciplinary techniques the parent employs. The evaluator should also inquire as to when a parent utilizes a specific disciplinary technique and why the parent chose a particular technique over an alternative technique in a particular situation.

Evaluators should be held responsible for investigating parental use of discipline to produce information that can help the court distinguish between effective and counterproductive disciplinary behaviors. Attorneys need to probe the underpinnings of custody reports, asking evaluators what information they gathered about the parents' use of physical force to discipline: Who did the evaluator interview? Did she interview collaterals? Did she ask the collateral for specific examples of observed parent-child interactions that included observation of parental use of discipline? Did the description of the observed parent-child interaction regarding parental use of discipline include how the child reacted? Did the evaluator question the parent about information gathered from the collateral? How did the parent respond to deeper probing by the evaluator, both as to the questions asked of the parent and to any challenges raised by information gathered from the collaterals?

Impact of Discipline on a Child's Future Problems

Research findings consistently reveal the association of certain types of parental disciplinary behaviors with short- and long-term problems for the child. Parents' use of inductive disciplinary techniques as compared to power assertion techniques (including the use of corporal punishment) leads to more pro-social behavior and empathy among children ages 11 and 12. Mothers' use of a comforting way of discipline as compared with use of a power-assertive mode results in higher quality mother-child interactions for toddlers. Finally, the use of corporal punishment on children older than two and a half years has been associated with higher levels of oppositional behavior.

Conclusion

Given the frequency of complaints found in custody pleadings about the use of parental physical force, it seems reasonable to expect child custody evaluators to understand how to identify and assess dimensions of parental discipline beyond that of corporal punishment. To construct examination questions of child custody evaluators, family attorneys must be knowledgeable about the different types of parental disciplinary techniques. Probing challenges to the way parents discipline their children may uncover unexpected and critical information that could turn the custody decision in favor of your client.

Jonathan W. Gould, Ph.D, a member of this newsletter's Board of Editors, specializes in Family Law matters including, but not limited to, child custody evaluations, work-product reviews, trial support and consultation. Nicki B. Fisher is a practicing attorney and the owner of Fisher Law Group, Charlotte, NC. Over the past 30 years, she has specialized in juvenile and family law. She may be reached at [email protected].