Professional Development: Being Civilized in a High-Tech World

Starting with caller ID, moving to call waiting, and then exploring answering machines that have morphed into voicemail, let's review what has changed. It used to be that when you picked up the phone, you said 'Hello,' and if you were in the business world you might have been instructed to state your name and department as well. Now, with caller ID, we avoid picking up the phone if it's our boss or a cranky client, or if we do pick up the phone, we say 'Hello, Bob' or 'Howdy ' or even 'Yo,' because we know who the caller is. Or do we? Have you ever had a call forwarded to you from a colleague and you answered in one of these less than formal manners and it was a forwarded caller?

Call waiting sends the message that the next person calling you is more important than the person you are presently speaking with, that is of course if you pick up the incoming call. In the past, a busy signal notified the caller that you were otherwise engaged in a conversation that was keeping your attention and that they should wait until you were available. Call waiting is an intrusion.

Voicemail is a great invention, if used correctly. There are two aspects to proper voicemail use: your outgoing message and the way you leave a message for others. Your outgoing message is a wonderful tool to keep others informed of your whereabouts and when they can expect a return call. If the message states you are in meetings all day and that you will return calls after 5 p.m., then you have set an appropriate expectation. Outgoing messages should be updated on a daily basis or as often as your availability status changes.

Leaving messages for others is an excellent way to convey complete information that could get misinterpreted if written down by a third party. Be sure to state your full name as not every one knows your voice and some people know more than one John or Debbie. Include the date and time, because often people hold messages before responding, and give a full, but not lengthy description of why you called. People can be more efficient if they do not have to play 'telephone tag' to learn the reason for the call.

'Thumb Trauma'

A new ailment has been diagnosed: 'blackberry trigger thumb trauma,' as noted in a report by Oxford University Occupational Health Services. With the introduction of personal digital assistants (PDAs), blackberrys and other 'I'm in constant contact with my job' devices, our society has reduced its ability to connect with others. The lack of etiquette swirling around these devices is close to criminal. In meetings no one pays attention to the speaker, on trains and planes people no longer chat with others, but worse and potentially deadly are those who check messages while driving. PDAs should be used to make our lives easier not more stressful. Plan to turn off PDAs when meeting with important people in your lives, not just clients but your family as well.

Other Irritants

Music has always been a part of civilized society. Now with the advent of 'Ipods,' MP3 players and the like, everyone can take their favorite music along with them. Unfortunately, we are forced to listen to everyone else's music because, in this case, the lack of etiquette deals with the volume. Often, the person enjoying the music is oblivious to the fact that it is so loud everyone around him or her can hear it as well.

Laptop computers are aptly named because they do fit on your lap. They are small, portable and valuable as a versatile tool that can travel everywhere. We see them on planes, trains, in meetings, in schools and even in (oh my) bed. The problem is that people can get so addicted to their computers that other skills fall to the wayside. On planes and trains, people choose to work rather than take a break to look out the window or talk to a neighbor. This adds to our already highly stressed lives because we have lost the ability to relax.

As observed in meetings and schools, the computer has replaced notepads and therefore our skills in note-taking are being reduced to how fast one can type. But most detrimental is when games are being played or e-mail is checked rather than notes being taken. How about spell check? Our younger generation cannot spell because if there is no red squiggly line the word must be right. We have also lost the art of doodling, a form of creative relaxation.

The fact that laptops have ended up in the bedroom means that when we are ill, or laid up with a broken leg, there is an expectation that we should still check our e-mail or participate in a 'Webinar.' The ability to constantly be connected means we never get a break or a moment to disconnect. This can lead to chronic headaches, back pain, stomach problems, irritability and aggressiveness. All of which drives people away from people, not toward one another.

Conclusion

Being civilized means living, learning and working with others in an environment which is conducive to interaction and camaraderie. Proper etiquette means using all the high-tech tools we now possess in a manner in which we can build relationships and show others we are available and open to them. Technology should make our lives easier not more complex, so think before you turn on your Ipod next to that stranger on the plane.

Sharon Meit Abrahams, Ed.D, a member of this newsletter's Board of Editors, is the Director of Professional Development at McDermott Will & Emery LLP. She is based in the Miami office.

When I started doing etiquette training in the mid 90s, the typical program focused on good manners and business protocol. Fast forward to the new millennium and I am discussing etiquette topics that were unknown a decade ago ' such as cell phones, PDAs and electronic mail. Interesting thing about etiquette, it constantly changes to keep up with society, technology and new business philosophies. Who would have thought or accepted the notion of 'business casual' anytime other than on 90-degree summer days or that a named partner would be called by his or her first name?

Unfortunately, with the dressing down of our attire and our loss of respect for station or attained status, we have also lost our common courtesies and basic levels of good etiquette. Have you looked around your firm and observed this loss? I challenge you to spend some time listening and watching how the partners, associates and staff interact with each other. I venture to say that technology has caused us to lose our congenial ways.

What Has Changed

Starting with caller ID, moving to call waiting, and then exploring answering machines that have morphed into voicemail, let's review what has changed. It used to be that when you picked up the phone, you said 'Hello,' and if you were in the business world you might have been instructed to state your name and department as well. Now, with caller ID, we avoid picking up the phone if it's our boss or a cranky client, or if we do pick up the phone, we say 'Hello, Bob' or 'Howdy ' or even 'Yo,' because we know who the caller is. Or do we? Have you ever had a call forwarded to you from a colleague and you answered in one of these less than formal manners and it was a forwarded caller?

Call waiting sends the message that the next person calling you is more important than the person you are presently speaking with, that is of course if you pick up the incoming call. In the past, a busy signal notified the caller that you were otherwise engaged in a conversation that was keeping your attention and that they should wait until you were available. Call waiting is an intrusion.

Voicemail is a great invention, if used correctly. There are two aspects to proper voicemail use: your outgoing message and the way you leave a message for others. Your outgoing message is a wonderful tool to keep others informed of your whereabouts and when they can expect a return call. If the message states you are in meetings all day and that you will return calls after 5 p.m., then you have set an appropriate expectation. Outgoing messages should be updated on a daily basis or as often as your availability status changes.

Leaving messages for others is an excellent way to convey complete information that could get misinterpreted if written down by a third party. Be sure to state your full name as not every one knows your voice and some people know more than one John or Debbie. Include the date and time, because often people hold messages before responding, and give a full, but not lengthy description of why you called. People can be more efficient if they do not have to play 'telephone tag' to learn the reason for the call.

'Thumb Trauma'

A new ailment has been diagnosed: 'blackberry trigger thumb trauma,' as noted in a report by Oxford University Occupational Health Services. With the introduction of personal digital assistants (PDAs), blackberrys and other 'I'm in constant contact with my job' devices, our society has reduced its ability to connect with others. The lack of etiquette swirling around these devices is close to criminal. In meetings no one pays attention to the speaker, on trains and planes people no longer chat with others, but worse and potentially deadly are those who check messages while driving. PDAs should be used to make our lives easier not more stressful. Plan to turn off PDAs when meeting with important people in your lives, not just clients but your family as well.

Other Irritants

Music has always been a part of civilized society. Now with the advent of 'Ipods,' MP3 players and the like, everyone can take their favorite music along with them. Unfortunately, we are forced to listen to everyone else's music because, in this case, the lack of etiquette deals with the volume. Often, the person enjoying the music is oblivious to the fact that it is so loud everyone around him or her can hear it as well.

Laptop computers are aptly named because they do fit on your lap. They are small, portable and valuable as a versatile tool that can travel everywhere. We see them on planes, trains, in meetings, in schools and even in (oh my) bed. The problem is that people can get so addicted to their computers that other skills fall to the wayside. On planes and trains, people choose to work rather than take a break to look out the window or talk to a neighbor. This adds to our already highly stressed lives because we have lost the ability to relax.

As observed in meetings and schools, the computer has replaced notepads and therefore our skills in note-taking are being reduced to how fast one can type. But most detrimental is when games are being played or e-mail is checked rather than notes being taken. How about spell check? Our younger generation cannot spell because if there is no red squiggly line the word must be right. We have also lost the art of doodling, a form of creative relaxation.

The fact that laptops have ended up in the bedroom means that when we are ill, or laid up with a broken leg, there is an expectation that we should still check our e-mail or participate in a 'Webinar.' The ability to constantly be connected means we never get a break or a moment to disconnect. This can lead to chronic headaches, back pain, stomach problems, irritability and aggressiveness. All of which drives people away from people, not toward one another.

Conclusion

Being civilized means living, learning and working with others in an environment which is conducive to interaction and camaraderie. Proper etiquette means using all the high-tech tools we now possess in a manner in which we can build relationships and show others we are available and open to them. Technology should make our lives easier not more complex, so think before you turn on your Ipod next to that stranger on the plane.

Sharon Meit Abrahams, Ed.D, a member of this newsletter's Board of Editors, is the Director of Professional Development at McDermott Will & Emery LLP. She is based in the Miami office.