The Place to Network: The Business Meal

The scene: a bustling upscale restaurant in Manhattan on a cold January evening. Five lawyers share a bottle of fine wine at a corner table as a waiter delivers the entr'es. Three lawyers are Biglaw partners hoping to win some work from the other two, who are senior in-house lawyers with a major packaged goods manufacturer. One of the in-house lawyers, Ted, participated in a panel discussion with Jack, one of the partners, a few hours earlier at an industry conference. As the waiter presents Ted with his entr'e, it's clear that a mistake has been made. Instead of the crab cake special, the waiter has brought a very exclusive stone crab appetizer that costs nearly four times the price of any entr'e. Ted is embarrassed ' while experienced in the ways of business meals, it is not his style to dine extravagantly on another's expense account. The waiter is embarrassed too, but prepared to quickly make amends. However, Jack leaps in to save the day. He reaches across his partner and snatches Ted's entr'e. Jack then shoves his own entr'e at the waiter, barking at the young man to take this to the kitchen and return right away with Ted's crab cakes! Problem solved. Ted will eventually get his crab cakes, Jack eagerly devours the delicious stone crab entr'e, and everyone lives happily ever after.

Except that Ted was miffed at Jack's unseemly actions. Ted would have happily eaten the stone crab platter, after insisting on paying the extra cost. The waiter, as it turns out, was prepared to give the stone crab dish to the table to share, compliments of the house, and return with Ted's crab cakes. In either scenario, everyone wins. But Jack's actions, likely an honest attempt to show a take-charge attitude, backfired. Ted has two children in college, both of whom wait tables, and he was offended at the officious manner in which Jack treated the waiter. Furthermore, Jack's approach left Ted with no option other than to watch the others eat as he waited patiently for his delayed entr'e. And, of course, one doesn't have to be an etiquette expert to recognize that reaching across the table to snatch food from a dining companion is poor form. Jack and his partners didn't win any work. As they explained at the next practice group meeting, Ted and his colleague selected another firm that must have undercut their rates to try to get in the door.

Perils of the Business Meal

For many lawyers, there are few situations more unnatural than the business dinner or lunch. Two or more people who may have never met agree to spend an hour or more together, sharing a meal, with potentially nothing in common except the possibility that one party faces certain legal challenges that the other may be able to address. This awkward mating ritual in which lawyers across the world engage every day can be akin to torture for some, but an opportunity to shine for others. Luckily, there are a lot of Jacks, so every mistake that can be made has been made, and we can learn from these experiences.

Is the Meal Really Necessary?

If the potential client, the “target,” has certain legal needs, and the lawyer has the requisite expertise to address these needs, then why bother with lunch? Why not get right to the issues at hand in the office or over the phone? For starters, it's not always clear what challenges exist. Only through a deeper understanding of the target's business issues will it become clear what legal needs need addressing. While the target may be the Chief Legal Officer of a pharmaceutical giant and have the usual IP, regulatory, licensing, export and other routine needs, like every other Big Pharma, it may not yet be public knowledge that the firm faces a whistleblower suit or a FCPA violation or has been approached by a competitor to merge. By learning more about the issues, the lawyer can better craft a proposal or solution to address the specific needs. This is far more compelling to the CLO than the usual barrage of brochures, newsletters, alerts and exhaustive lists of credentials that most lawyers equate with persuasive marketing.

Establish Rapport

But of even greater importance is to get to know the target as a person, and to showcase one's own personality as well. Lawyers are continually surprised to learn that deep subject-matter expertise is merely the table stakes, and not the prevailing factor for hiring a lawyer. Establishing a rapport is critical because people do business with people they like and trust. Whether it is a CLO hiring a global law firm for a major transaction or a small firm pitching a local business owner, making a personal connection is a critical component in winning work. Let's explore further.

When attending a conference, it is important to prepare a list of people to meet rather than wander aimlessly hoping to fortuitously meet someone relevant. Many lawyers organize a dinner outing and distribute invitations well in advance. Others play it by ear, suggesting dinner after having met a few people on site. It's helpful to note that many clients expect to be invited to receptions and dinners hosted by potential business partners. A few take advantage, enjoying fine food and drink with no expectation of establishing a new business relationship. Some are selective, accepting invitations from those with whom there might be a possibility for future collaboration. Still others may be the beneficiaries of an existing relationship, and the business outing is a reward for past work. But, by and large, there is an expectation that at some point throughout the evening, the host will seek an opportunity to explain the benefits of his or her services. That said, there's a gentle way to ease into the business discussion.

Some lawyers are quite facile at making small talk, others labor at it. Some lawyers manifest their discomfort by endlessly talking about themselves, which is as unappealing in a business setting as it is in a singles bar. It helps to be aware of current events and sports news, and to be on top of trends in the dinner companions' industries. Beyond that, rely on asking questions and showing genuine interest. It's a bit bold to leap into the “what keeps you up at night” discussion unless you've established some familiarity and trust. But it's perfectly okay to ask what challenges are facing the industry, or how the economy, or global climate change, or the price of oil, or unrest in the Middle East, impacts business. Others prefer to talk about families and hobbies. This writer, for example, will happily talk at length to anyone familiar with the college sports recruiting process, which is an important household topic lately. Meanwhile, the wine glasses stay filled, appetizers are served and the entr'es are on their way.

When to Pitch

When is a good time to dive in? By waiting until coffee is served, many lawyers fear, I may only be able to learn of my dinner companion's challenges but have insufficient time to explain my firm's capabilities and experience. Another guideline to keep in mind is that those who fear they will have but one opportunity to “pitch” a prospective client, and therefore act accordingly, will have their wish fulfilled.

Those lawyers who are a bit more serene, who take time to inquire and listen, who are able to contribute to the conversation because of research conducted beforehand, realize that this is a race for distance, not a sprint. The dinner may only consist of getting to know one another, and after building rapport it is much easier to arrange a follow-up call or visit to discuss the impact of the legal issues raised. Those who rush to pitch their immense capabilities before the dessert dishes are cleared may have a polite audience, but one that may be difficult to reach on the phone later.

Of course, some lawyers are so laid back in their approach that they never get around to discussing business, leaving the dining companions with full stomachs, but puzzled as to the purpose of the invitation. Some years ago, I joined colleagues at a dinner in Detroit with a small group of business leaders who were prospective clients. We all did our part in the small talk, but we hadn't compared notes on who might address the group and so no one stepped forward. The potential clients politely lingered through coffee and dessert, giving us plenty of opportunity to step up, but eventually one arose to catch a cab home and the room emptied in minutes. We didn't win any work from that investment, but we did learn a valuable lesson!

Avoiding the Pitch

It may be helpful to point out that sometimes the most cherished relationships commence when the lawyer is able to arrange a business lunch or dinner with two clients or prospective clients who may be interested in each other, while the lawyer sits back without pitching anyone on anything. There's no greater value a lawyer can provide than helping a client or prospective client improve his or her business. Many warm feelings can be engendered by introducing a CEO to a potential acquisition target, or by introducing a CLO to a General Counsel from another industry, one who years ago faced and conquered similar regulatory hurdles, and so on. The lawyer doesn't have to say a word to be deemed a trusted adviser, an insider, one who cares about his or her clients' businesses.

Steps for Networking

Not everyone is a natural networker, but business lunches or dinners provide safe havens with plenty of distractions so that even the most socially challenged lawyers can make successful connections. Keep these guidelines in mind, and you too can incorporate social outings into your business development repertoire:

• The primary objective of a business meal is to make a connection, to demonstrate that you are a likeable and trustworthy business partner. Do this right and you'll get additional opportunities for face time.
• It's important to do research beforehand on the prospective client's world and to be on top of current events, which helps facilitate small talk and get the conversation going.
• There's no right time to shift from small talk to business, but it's more likely to bear fruit if you've established a good rapport and earned the right to dig into business issues.
• Never pitch or sell during this meeting. At most, summarize your understanding of the issues you've heard and offer to mull them over and return with some recommendations for how to proceed.
• Those who pitch their firm's generic capabilities, who brag about their experience, their many deals, their tall buildings and fine art collections in the firm's lobby, will learn much less than those who spend time asking questions and learning about the prospective client's business.
• It often takes a number of meals with different prospect clients to make a connection and commence a business relationship. Learn from each session and improve your approach for the next time. And don't begrudge those who enjoy a meal on your dime. Consider it an investment in business development.

If you really do have poor success converting business meals into business, then hire a coach to help smooth out your approach and/or do a better job of targeting who you invite to lunch!

Timothy B. Corcoran, a member of this newsletter's Board of Editors, is Vice President, Client Development, at Hubbard One. He authors the Corcoran's Law Biz Blog and is a regular speaker and writer on business development and business management issues for law firms.

The scene: a bustling upscale restaurant in Manhattan on a cold January evening. Five lawyers share a bottle of fine wine at a corner table as a waiter delivers the entr'es. Three lawyers are Biglaw partners hoping to win some work from the other two, who are senior in-house lawyers with a major packaged goods manufacturer. One of the in-house lawyers, Ted, participated in a panel discussion with Jack, one of the partners, a few hours earlier at an industry conference. As the waiter presents Ted with his entr'e, it's clear that a mistake has been made. Instead of the crab cake special, the waiter has brought a very exclusive stone crab appetizer that costs nearly four times the price of any entr'e. Ted is embarrassed ' while experienced in the ways of business meals, it is not his style to dine extravagantly on another's expense account. The waiter is embarrassed too, but prepared to quickly make amends. However, Jack leaps in to save the day. He reaches across his partner and snatches Ted's entr'e. Jack then shoves his own entr'e at the waiter, barking at the young man to take this to the kitchen and return right away with Ted's crab cakes! Problem solved. Ted will eventually get his crab cakes, Jack eagerly devours the delicious stone crab entr'e, and everyone lives happily ever after.

Except that Ted was miffed at Jack's unseemly actions. Ted would have happily eaten the stone crab platter, after insisting on paying the extra cost. The waiter, as it turns out, was prepared to give the stone crab dish to the table to share, compliments of the house, and return with Ted's crab cakes. In either scenario, everyone wins. But Jack's actions, likely an honest attempt to show a take-charge attitude, backfired. Ted has two children in college, both of whom wait tables, and he was offended at the officious manner in which Jack treated the waiter. Furthermore, Jack's approach left Ted with no option other than to watch the others eat as he waited patiently for his delayed entr'e. And, of course, one doesn't have to be an etiquette expert to recognize that reaching across the table to snatch food from a dining companion is poor form. Jack and his partners didn't win any work. As they explained at the next practice group meeting, Ted and his colleague selected another firm that must have undercut their rates to try to get in the door.

Perils of the Business Meal

For many lawyers, there are few situations more unnatural than the business dinner or lunch. Two or more people who may have never met agree to spend an hour or more together, sharing a meal, with potentially nothing in common except the possibility that one party faces certain legal challenges that the other may be able to address. This awkward mating ritual in which lawyers across the world engage every day can be akin to torture for some, but an opportunity to shine for others. Luckily, there are a lot of Jacks, so every mistake that can be made has been made, and we can learn from these experiences.

Is the Meal Really Necessary?

If the potential client, the “target,” has certain legal needs, and the lawyer has the requisite expertise to address these needs, then why bother with lunch? Why not get right to the issues at hand in the office or over the phone? For starters, it's not always clear what challenges exist. Only through a deeper understanding of the target's business issues will it become clear what legal needs need addressing. While the target may be the Chief Legal Officer of a pharmaceutical giant and have the usual IP, regulatory, licensing, export and other routine needs, like every other Big Pharma, it may not yet be public knowledge that the firm faces a whistleblower suit or a FCPA violation or has been approached by a competitor to merge. By learning more about the issues, the lawyer can better craft a proposal or solution to address the specific needs. This is far more compelling to the CLO than the usual barrage of brochures, newsletters, alerts and exhaustive lists of credentials that most lawyers equate with persuasive marketing.

Establish Rapport

But of even greater importance is to get to know the target as a person, and to showcase one's own personality as well. Lawyers are continually surprised to learn that deep subject-matter expertise is merely the table stakes, and not the prevailing factor for hiring a lawyer. Establishing a rapport is critical because people do business with people they like and trust. Whether it is a CLO hiring a global law firm for a major transaction or a small firm pitching a local business owner, making a personal connection is a critical component in winning work. Let's explore further.

When attending a conference, it is important to prepare a list of people to meet rather than wander aimlessly hoping to fortuitously meet someone relevant. Many lawyers organize a dinner outing and distribute invitations well in advance. Others play it by ear, suggesting dinner after having met a few people on site. It's helpful to note that many clients expect to be invited to receptions and dinners hosted by potential business partners. A few take advantage, enjoying fine food and drink with no expectation of establishing a new business relationship. Some are selective, accepting invitations from those with whom there might be a possibility for future collaboration. Still others may be the beneficiaries of an existing relationship, and the business outing is a reward for past work. But, by and large, there is an expectation that at some point throughout the evening, the host will seek an opportunity to explain the benefits of his or her services. That said, there's a gentle way to ease into the business discussion.

Some lawyers are quite facile at making small talk, others labor at it. Some lawyers manifest their discomfort by endlessly talking about themselves, which is as unappealing in a business setting as it is in a singles bar. It helps to be aware of current events and sports news, and to be on top of trends in the dinner companions' industries. Beyond that, rely on asking questions and showing genuine interest. It's a bit bold to leap into the “what keeps you up at night” discussion unless you've established some familiarity and trust. But it's perfectly okay to ask what challenges are facing the industry, or how the economy, or global climate change, or the price of oil, or unrest in the Middle East, impacts business. Others prefer to talk about families and hobbies. This writer, for example, will happily talk at length to anyone familiar with the college sports recruiting process, which is an important household topic lately. Meanwhile, the wine glasses stay filled, appetizers are served and the entr'es are on their way.

When to Pitch

When is a good time to dive in? By waiting until coffee is served, many lawyers fear, I may only be able to learn of my dinner companion's challenges but have insufficient time to explain my firm's capabilities and experience. Another guideline to keep in mind is that those who fear they will have but one opportunity to “pitch” a prospective client, and therefore act accordingly, will have their wish fulfilled.

Those lawyers who are a bit more serene, who take time to inquire and listen, who are able to contribute to the conversation because of research conducted beforehand, realize that this is a race for distance, not a sprint. The dinner may only consist of getting to know one another, and after building rapport it is much easier to arrange a follow-up call or visit to discuss the impact of the legal issues raised. Those who rush to pitch their immense capabilities before the dessert dishes are cleared may have a polite audience, but one that may be difficult to reach on the phone later.

Of course, some lawyers are so laid back in their approach that they never get around to discussing business, leaving the dining companions with full stomachs, but puzzled as to the purpose of the invitation. Some years ago, I joined colleagues at a dinner in Detroit with a small group of business leaders who were prospective clients. We all did our part in the small talk, but we hadn't compared notes on who might address the group and so no one stepped forward. The potential clients politely lingered through coffee and dessert, giving us plenty of opportunity to step up, but eventually one arose to catch a cab home and the room emptied in minutes. We didn't win any work from that investment, but we did learn a valuable lesson!

Avoiding the Pitch

It may be helpful to point out that sometimes the most cherished relationships commence when the lawyer is able to arrange a business lunch or dinner with two clients or prospective clients who may be interested in each other, while the lawyer sits back without pitching anyone on anything. There's no greater value a lawyer can provide than helping a client or prospective client improve his or her business. Many warm feelings can be engendered by introducing a CEO to a potential acquisition target, or by introducing a CLO to a General Counsel from another industry, one who years ago faced and conquered similar regulatory hurdles, and so on. The lawyer doesn't have to say a word to be deemed a trusted adviser, an insider, one who cares about his or her clients' businesses.

Steps for Networking

Not everyone is a natural networker, but business lunches or dinners provide safe havens with plenty of distractions so that even the most socially challenged lawyers can make successful connections. Keep these guidelines in mind, and you too can incorporate social outings into your business development repertoire:

• The primary objective of a business meal is to make a connection, to demonstrate that you are a likeable and trustworthy business partner. Do this right and you'll get additional opportunities for face time.
• It's important to do research beforehand on the prospective client's world and to be on top of current events, which helps facilitate small talk and get the conversation going.
• There's no right time to shift from small talk to business, but it's more likely to bear fruit if you've established a good rapport and earned the right to dig into business issues.
• Never pitch or sell during this meeting. At most, summarize your understanding of the issues you've heard and offer to mull them over and return with some recommendations for how to proceed.
• Those who pitch their firm's generic capabilities, who brag about their experience, their many deals, their tall buildings and fine art collections in the firm's lobby, will learn much less than those who spend time asking questions and learning about the prospective client's business.
• It often takes a number of meals with different prospect clients to make a connection and commence a business relationship. Learn from each session and improve your approach for the next time. And don't begrudge those who enjoy a meal on your dime. Consider it an investment in business development.

If you really do have poor success converting business meals into business, then hire a coach to help smooth out your approach and/or do a better job of targeting who you invite to lunch!

Timothy B. Corcoran, a member of this newsletter's Board of Editors, is Vice President, Client Development, at Hubbard One. He authors the Corcoran's Law Biz Blog and is a regular speaker and writer on business development and business management issues for law firms.