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One of the most powerful tools to improve the performance of a team is the ability to give and receive feedback effectively.
The other day, my 11-year-old daughter watched a video of herself, and she commented, “Do I really sound like that? Is that really my voice?” We've all had that experience ' our perception of our behavior, attitudes and intentions are sometimes different than how they come across in reality. We need feedback to understand other's perception of reality. We need to both give and receive feedback effectively to improve performance and to understand our blind spots.
The problem with giving feedback is that it often comes across as criticism. Human beings tend to react defensively, resulting in a denial of the feedback or worse, entrenchment in the behavior or attitude that may be derailing them in the first place? How can we give feedback in a way that minimizes defensiveness?
The SBI Model
The SBI (Situation, Behavior and Impact) model, taught by the Center for Creative Leadership in its executive training programs, provides a structure for a conversation that encourages effective feedback that gives the receiver the best chance to take ownership for change.
When giving feedback, focus on:
Giving Feedback
When giving feedback, put aside judgment or attribution of motive. Don't make guesses about why someone behaved in a certain way. Focus on the facts, not opinions. While it is tempting to give advice, instead, focus on helping the other person develop his or her own path to improve the behavior that results in a better impact and result the next time. Ask them what they could have done differently or could do differently next time.
The SBI model works well for both positive feedback, when you want to reinforce an effective behavior or attitude, as well as constructive feedback, when you want to change a behavior or attitude.
Consider this example of an SBI: “Chris, at the end of the team meeting this morning (situation), you gave a summary of the key action steps we had discussed (behavior). I was really glad you did that (impact on me) and it seemed to bring a good sense of closure to the meeting (impact on others).”
Can you see how that feedback might be more effective than, “Hey, Chris, nice meeting today.”
Or, consider this example of constructive feedback: “Pat, during our conference call yesterday (situation), I noticed that you interrupted others and me on several occasions (behavior). I felt frustrated at times (impact on me) and I sensed that others were starting to get irritated by it as well (impact on others).
This is more effective than, “Pat, you were really rude yesterday.”
Once you realize the power of giving effective feedback, you become a student of human behavior, seeking to give, and receive, feedback frequently. Look for behavior you want to encourage in your team and practice giving positive feedback for behaviors like leading others, taking personal responsibility, going the extra mile, involving others in a project, teaching others a new skill and improving processes.
Likewise, look for behaviors and attitudes that distract your team, such as interrupting, spreading rumors, avoiding conflict, being passive-aggressive, and lack of responsiveness. Use the SBI model to help team members be more aware of their blind spots and behaviors that affect others.
Teams that improve their ability and frequency of giving both positive and constructive feedback can rapidly improve their performance, trust level and learning speed because they are focusing their energy on improving together rather than being defensive, blaming others and protecting their turf.
Impact Words
One of the biggest challenges in using the SBI model is finding the right “impact words” without being judgmental or providing advice. For positive impact, use words that completes this sentence: “When I saw what you did, it made me feel … .” Consider words like calm, relieved, confident, safe, welcome, agreeable, bold, affirmed, content, impressed, and so forth.
Constructive, or negative, impact words are more challenging. Consider words that reflect your feelings or concern, such as stressed, shocked, uncertain, skeptical, trapped, pressured, rushed, weak, troubled, worried, discontente , and so forth.
Here are some tips on giving effective feedback:
Effective feedback is a two-way street. When receiving feedback, consider:
Conclusion
High-performing teams understand the value of giving and receiving feedback frequently and effectively. Team members and leaders engage in both positive and constructive feedback on a daily basis. They practice SBIs regularly to make it part of the group's culture and values. By doing so, they reduce the stress and defensiveness that comes with criticism and focus on how they can work better together.
Mark Beese, a member of this newsletter's Board of Editors, is president of Leadership for Lawyers LLC, a consultancy focused on helping lawyers become better leaders. He is a Legal Marketing Association Hall of Fame Inductee and a Fellow of the College of Law Practice Management. Mark is former chair of the Lawyer Leader Task Force of the ABA Law Practice Division, and an adjunct faculty member at the Center for Creative Leadership and the Sturm College of Law at the University of Denver. (http://www.leadershipforlawyers.com). E-mail: [email protected].
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